


i don't like the road (i adore it)

by lunnessey



Category: Nerve - Fandom
Genre: F/F, M/M, don't ask me i don't know, if you looked at this and went 'why' me too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:53:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7669108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunnessey/pseuds/lunnessey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vee takes on L.A., Sam takes back his life, and all sorts of things ensue. Most of all, chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't like the road (i adore it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw Nerve and loved it and I was like what would make this more fun?...... Make It Gay. This fic is going to end up being ridiculously long, this chapter will be the shortest by far. I just wanted to get it out there. Title from Icona Pop and Lowell's Ride, which is essentially the theme song to this movie. Ha.

“The thing about growing up with Fred and George… is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough _nerve_.” – Ginny Weasley

-

CalArts was everything Venus had ever dreamed of. It was beautiful, she was meeting tons of new people, and she was going to school for the thing she had dreamed of for years.

And she was _bored_.

Some of the classes were pretty cool. Vee was taking two basic humanities courses, an intro to photography, and some class about poetry. It wasn’t a bad first semester. The problem was everything else. A lot of the other students were manipulative, overly flashy, and obsessed with maintaining any small measure of fame that could grasp in the art world. It reminded Vee all too much of NERVE.

Vee suspected that NERVE was to blame for her boredom as a whole. Getting a taste of a such a wild life, complete with crazy large cash rewards had left Vee with a lasting taste in her mouth. She shouldn’t have missed it considering the way she, Sydney, and Sam had all very nearly died that night. In fact, Vee did not miss the NERVE part at all. The adrenaline rush, however, she craved constantly. Life at CalArts was idyllic and academically challenging, but it was also depressingly safe, repetitive, and downright predictable. It did not help that Sam was hours away in Seattle, working on reclaiming his old life, and Sydney was all the way back in New York. Vee talked to the both of them constantly, but it wasn’t the same.

Vee and Sam weren’t technically _dating_ these days, but they behaved as if they were whenever they managed to see one another. Vee was certain that she wanted to know Sam for the rest of her life, and there was definitely an attraction there. She just wasn’t sure that she wanted to _be_ with him, and Sam felt the same way. One insane night playing NERVE wasn’t enough to build a relationship on.

Sydney, on the other hand, had been a part of Vee’s daily life for years and Venus missed her like a phantom limb. Syd had been uncertain about what she wanted to do after high school and had elected to stay in Staten Island for the time being and cause havoc in the city. Vee had told her that she was welcome to visit her in California any time.

Vee didn’t know if any of the other Players missed the adrenaline rush the way that she did. She bet that TYDONTDY probably did, wherever he was. As it was Vee just tried to ignore the thrumming in her veins, the pleading of her heart to cause just a little bit of trouble, and went to her classes. She even went to a few parties, and ate a lot of instant mashed potatoes in her dorm. And she waited.

Waited for what, Venus could not even say. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was waiting for _something_ to disturb the monotony.

-

All of the NERVE video from popular Players was archived online, and it was easy enough to find if you knew where to look. Sydney herself was on there, from her flashing the crowd at school to the fart prank to her mortifying bail out at the party. Mostly, Syd didn’t watch her own tape. She’d watched Sam/Ian’s a couple times, lost her breath as he hung one-handed from the crane. She had watched that hot lunatic TYDONTDY’s successful train dare more than once. But what she found herself re-watching over and over was Vee’s footage.

The one she watched most often was not the streaking in Bergdorf’s. It wasn’t the blind ride on Ian/Sam’s bike or the completion of Sydney’s own dare, which made Syd hyperventilate if she so much as thought about how carelessly Vee had put her life on the line.

The NERVE footage that Sydney watched most often was from the tattoo shop. Watching Vee whine like a little baby and let out ridiculous shrieks in between rapping Wu Tang’s ‘Cream’ like a champ. The moment she finally calmed down, showed her true self and made Sam and the rest of the world fall in love with her. That was Syd’s Vee. The one she hadn’t learned to appreciate until she almost lost her.

Sydney eventually swallowed her pride and bookmarked the link to the footage on her phone. She watched it after the party at Wes’s where Liv threw up four times in the garden and JP was attached to some other girl’s tits and Syd went home hours earlier than usual, heartsick and bored and desiring absolutely no one’s company. (And there had been offers. There were _always_ offers.)

She watched it while she was making Hamburger Helper for dinner for the second time that week, after her mom texted to say she would be extending her trip three weeks and would not be home after all. She watched it on the ferry in the morning on the way to the city. It was ridiculous, because she could call Vee any time and talk to her. Syd actually snorted as she imagined Vee’s reaction if she spontaneously videocalled and requested that Vee rap for her. 

It got to the point where Syd did not want to go to the city, did not want to go to any parties, did not want to talk on the phone to her parents. She was struggling to find the motivation within herself to even hang out with Liv and Wes. And though apparently all she wanted to do was listen to her best friend rap ‘Cream’, she was terrified to videocall Vee. She didn’t want Vee to take one look at her and she how miserable she was. Syd was certain that Vee would see it on her face as though it were written in permanent ink. It’s just how the two of them were.

On the third day of avoiding the outside world, aimlessly wandering around her house, it came to Sydney. If Staten Island had lost its luster she would simply have to go somewhere else for a while. Not just anywhere else, somewhere that housed a little blonde who wore classic striped Adidas sneakers and sang along to Wu-Tang while they were getting tattooed by men named ‘Dirtbeard.’

Sydney was headed to California.  

-

Reverting from ‘Ian’ to ‘Sam’ was not as easy as it should’ve been.

For a year Sam had gone where the people behind NERVE had wanted him, done whatever they said in order to try and shield his family from further harm. To be back in Seattle, back in his own skin, was an almost surreal experience. Sam’s sister had transferred to a new school and done her best to leave the leaked pictures behind her. She was doing alright. His dad had gotten his old job back, was trying to catch up on the house payments. Sam’s money from NERVE helped with that, although his father hated that he had continued to play and had almost refused it. He understood on some level that Sam had not had much of a choice.

Sam’s family acted for the most part as though NERVE and the consequences that came from it had never transpired. Sam could not.

NERVE haunted his steps constantly. In quiet moments he often caught himself back on top of a crane on a muggy Seattle day, screaming as two shaking hands slipped from the bars and Robbie fell no matter how he and Ty reached and shouted for him. When he dreamed, he found himself hanging from the crane in New York. One-handed, the breath stolen from his lungs, wanting to sob but terrified that any movement would cause him to lose his grip. After video calls with Vee, Sam would sometimes remember her pointing a gun at him as they were surrounded by the masked, jeering crowds. He would hear his own voice screaming like it were coming from someone else. He would beg, voice raw and desperate, “ _do it, just do it._ ”

It wasn’t always like that. Some days were good. Sam had enrolled in the local community college and managed to rent his own dumpy apartment. He had even gotten a job at a mechanic shop that specialized in custom bikes, which he thought was kind of funny. Vee had sure laughed when he told her. Sam had been forced to give up his motorcycle, as he had in fact stolen it, and he was trying to leave that sort of thing behind him now. It was an understatement to say that he missed his bike pretty badly.

Sometimes, during late nights when Sam couldn’t seem to find sleep, he would go to the corner where the third Player had fallen from the crane. He would climb the stairs to the top of the building and look down at the street until he couldn’t breathe. He would think about how Robbie probably wasn't even the guy’s real name, and feel sick.

Sometimes Sam wondered about Ty. Where he was, if he was doing good now. If he had found his own life again easier than Sam had.

He wondered if he would ever feel like more than Ian playing pretend in Sam’s skin. Wondered if he would ever forget the addicting, _beautiful_ adrenaline rush of NERVE. The feeling of defying death for more money than Sam had ever seen before and the adoration of thousands.

It was on one of the good days, three weeks after Sam had started school when the Seattle weather was just starting to turn truly nasty that he encountered the answer to all of his questions.

It began as most things in Seattle seemed to: with a coffee shop.    

-

Thursday was Venus’s late day at CalArts, and she left her Evil in the Humanities class around nine or so that night. She flipped the hood to her soft gray sweatshirt up as she walked to the car, as it had gotten a lot cooler as the sun went down. It had been a long ass day, and Vee was looking forward to going home and crashing. She probably wouldn’t even bother with dinner. Sleep was taking priority at this point. Her phone rang and Vee dug it out of her pocket, a ‘Hey, mom,’ already on her lips.

Instead, she was greeted with a great bunch of distant yelling and then: “Vee!”

Venus blinked and pulled her phone away from her ear for a moment to check the display.

“Vee,” Sydney repeated intently on the other end of the phone. Like nothing had ever been more important than this phone call, than saying Vee’s name. Syd could be intense like that.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Vee said, still surprised at the call. She and Syd usually videocalled about four days a week, but Syd had been worryingly silent lately. Past the occasional text, Vee hadn’t talked to her in almost two weeks.

“LA is very pretty, and very, very crazy. I don’t know how to feel about it yet.”

Vee stopped very suddenly, and the person walking behind her gave her a very dirty look, which went unnoticed. “What? Syd, are you in L.A.?”

“Yeah, I came to—well, I came.” She broke off. There was a great amount of noise in the background. “I really miss you.”

It occurred to Vee, slowly and then all at once that Sydney was in California, and also drunk, and also God-knows-where.

“Vee. Vee? I really, really miss you.”

Vee neatly ignored the pang in her chest. “Syd, where are you right now? Who are you with?”

“This guy at the hotel, he knows—he knows a lot of people. A lot of people that I know. And we’re at this bar, I think he owns it. Um, I don’t know what it’s called. I don’t really know.”

“Syd, can you send me your location from your phone? I’m going to come get you. Can I come and pick you up?”

“Yes, yeah. That’s fine, Vee, that’s great.” Syd babbled. A male voice became very clear in the background, and a deafening cheer came from Syd’s end of the phone. She shouted, “I’m sending it. Come, okay? Please come.” Then she hung up.

Venus stared mutely at her phone for a long moment before it dinged and an address in L.A. came up on her iPhone. Plans of going straight home and sleeping abandoned, Vee once again set off for her car. 

The address sent from Syd’s phone ended up leading to Illuminatrix, a claustrophobically busy club downtown. Venus stared at the heaving crowds of beautiful people around the entrance and gave a long sigh. Then she pulled her hoodie over her head and took her hair out of the braid it was in, running her fingers through it. The doormen let Vee pass by with hardly more than a look and she set about looking for Sydney on the first floor. She called her three times, and each time it rang out and then went to voicemail. It was entirely likely that Syd couldn’t hear it over all of the commotion. Anyway, that’s what Venus was hoping.

It took entirely too long for Vee to make her way up to the second floor. Everywhere she went there was a guy winding her hair around his finger, curling a hand around her waist. Offers from strangers of drinks, of dances, of way more than that.

Luckily, Sydney was just about the first person Venus saw at the top of the stairs. She was thankfully fine, made up and looking striking in a black dress and kitten heels.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t alone.

A rather large, lavishly suited man had one hand on the small of Syd’s back, and the other on her ass. His smile was wide, too-white and unmistakably predatory. Syd seemed to be tolerating him. She was quite clearly shitfaced. The man tugged on Syd’s hair, pulling her head back. He turned her face this way and that, saying something Venus couldn’t make out. Whatever it was seemed to greatly amuse him.

“He owns the bar, huh,” Vee murmured to herself, thinking fast. She pushed her way toward them, making her eyes wide and shocked, phone in her hand.

“Oh my god, that is disgusting,” Venus said, very, very loudly, pretending to look back toward the staircase and the first floor. “Thank god the cops are on their way right now,” She added, talking to no one in particular. As she thought, that phrase quickly caught the man’s attention.

He scowled at her. “What did you say?” Sydney caught sight of Venus and her eyes lit up.

“These guys downstairs, they’re high out of their mind!” Vee told him, horrified. “The one is just throwing up everywhere. Like, all over everyone. The other one tries to fight anyone who even looks at them. I don’t know where security is. It’s disgraceful.”

“For fuck’s sake,” The man said disgustedly. He gripped the back of Syd’s neck as if she were a rag doll and said, “I’ll be right back, and we can pick this back up, yeah?” Vee’s lip curled. The guy didn’t notice, already stalking toward the staircase and barking orders into his phone.

“Okay, we gotta go right now,” Vee said, and grabbed Syd’s hand, making a beeline for the staircase opposite the one Syd’s suited companion had taken. Venus kept a keen lookout for him, but didn’t see him and only moments later she was ushering Sydney out into the crisp night air. 

“Sneaky, Vee, very sneaky,” Sydney said with obvious approval. She seemed content to just stand on the sidewalk with Venus and laced their fingers together, holding tightly.

“That guy was a piece of work,” Said Vee, shaking her head disbelievingly.

Syd shrugged, nonplussed. “He’s nobody. Who cares?”

Vee sighed. “Yeah. Who cares.”

 She led Sydney in the direction of her car, and Syd went without complaint, keeping hold of Vee’s hand. Venus was beginning to get cold in just a tank top and jeans, and thought Syd must be freezing in just her black mini-dress. She handed over the grey hoodie she’d been wearing, and Syd put it on without a word, pulling the hood up and the sleeves down over her hands. Then she grabbed Venus’s hand once again and laced their fingers back together. Vee was almost grateful. Sydney was notoriously hard to keep track of when she was out for the night and in a partying mood. It would be very hard for Vee to lose her while holding her hand.  

They reached the car without incident and Sydney directed Vee back to her hotel with little prompting. Sydney’s suite had a full bath and a California King bed, which she sat on while she watched Vee move around the room morosely.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Sydney said eventually, voice hoarse from yelling over the noise in the bar all night.

Vee stopped and fixed Syd with a look, raising both of her eyebrows. “Good, because I’m not going anywhere.”

 She tossed Sydney a soft tank top and some oversized sweatpants she’d dug out of her suitcase, retrieving another pair for herself. She went into the bathroom while Syd changed and returned with a tall glass of water, which she held out to Sydney expectantly.

“You’re staying?” Syd said, voice quiet.

“Mhm.” Vee smiled at her wickedly. “Someone has to make sure you don’t throw up while you’re sleeping, rockstar-style.”

Syd laughed, caught off guard. “That’s kindof fucking dark, Vee.”  

“You like it.” Vee said with confidence. Syd smirked.

Vee shimmied out of her jeans and into Sydney’s sweatpants and then straightened suddenly. “Oh, wait.”

She went through Sydney’s suitcase while Syd watched, curious. Venus found a package of make-up wipes and came to sit across from Syd on the bed.

“You’re gonna hate yourself if you sleep with make-up on.” Vee said.

A fond sort of smile crept across Sydney’s face as Vee, rather than hand Sydney the wipes, took one and started to smooth it gently over her face.

“You think of everything.” Syd said, quiet and admiring.

“No, I just know you,” Vee teased.

The two went quiet for a while as Vee cupped Sydney’s cheek in one hand, tilting her face this way and that to ever-so-gently scrub away Syd’s eye make-up. Vee briefly got up to refill Syd’s glass of water and turn off the lights and then the two of them lay down to sleep.

“Vee?” Syd whispered into the now dark room.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Vee pretended not to hear, debating whether or not it would shitty to make fun of Syd for all this tomorrow. Sober Sydney would likely be mortified.       

It was quiet for a long while and then Sydney said, “Hey wait, oh my god, I almost forgot.”

“What?” Vee said, a little alarmed. She turned over to find Sydney on her side, bright eyes fixed firmly on Vee’s face.

“Vee, would you rap ‘Cream?’”

Venus began to laugh. “What?”

“Vee, please?”

Venus couldn’t quite smother a smile. Life with Sydney was never, ever boring. That was for certain. “If I do, will you go to sleep?”

“Yes.” Syd said immediately.

Venus laughed once more, just a little bit. “Okay then. I grew up on the crime side, the New York Times side….”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr at pinkygivingbrain. Come be my friend.


End file.
